The Villainy of Amy Gardner
by MusicalSensation
Summary: The first in my "Villains" series. The focus is on the thinkings of the charcters that just drive you crazy. Case in point: Amy Gardner.


Let me explain what this series is. The "Villains" Series is my take on a group of characters from various shows that, honestly, I can't stand. I wanted to delve into the reasons I don't like them and possibly give them some background as to what made them the loathsome people they are. Most of the background I made up, with the exception of a few mentions of any little background tidbits that may have been said in the shows the characters are in.

This is the first in the series. I'm currently working on the stories for a couple of characters from the Gilmore Girls world and hope to have those up soon. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Amy. And for that, I am very grateful.

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**The Villainy Of Amy Gardner**

I'm a bitch.

I can't help it. It's who I am. It's who I'll always be.

It's not like I have some sob story as to why I'm such a bitch. I had a good childhood. My parents were well off. Really well off, actually. Both of my parents were lawyers and I got everything I wanted. I went to the best schools, got a car as soon as I turned sixteen, sassed my parents and got away with it, and did whatever the hell I wanted to do.

In high school I always hung out with the guys in student government. None of the girls in school liked me. Which would have really bothered me if I had cared. Actually, I've never really had any female friends. That's pretty strange considering I'm a feminist, and all. But when I was younger, the other girls just didn't like me. They probably thought I was screwing their boyfriends.

Then there was my sister. My perfect sister Gretchen, whom everyone in the whole frickin' world loved.

Gretchen is two years older than I am and was the picture of goodness. When I started high school, all my teachers would ask me if I was Gretchen Gardner's sister. I always hated being asked that. Everyone loved Gretchen. They thought she was sweet. I don't think that anyone has ever said I was sweet. I think hell would open up and swallow them if that happened.

I remember I was such a disappointment to my teachers in school. They thought I was a smartass. It was as if I could see the thought bubbles over their head when they looked at me_...  
How could Gretchen Gardner's sister have such an attitude problem?  
Are they even related?  
Maybe Amy's adopted.  
Open your mouth when you talk, Amy._  
And my favorite, _I wish Amy could be more like Gretchen._

My sister and I didn't have a great relationship. She tried to be my friend, but I wasn't all that interested. We had absolutely nothing in common. Gretchen wanted to be a teacher and have a big family, which she ended up doing. I, on the other hand, don't see myself as the family type. I value my independence too much.

I can't blame it all entirely on Gretchen. Truth be told, she really is a sweet person. Annoyingly so. But that's not who I am. God, I can't even pretend to be sweet. I end up getting a bad headache if I do.

When I saw my sister a few Christmas' ago, her three sons came up to me and asked why they never saw their Aunt Amy. I'm terrible with children. Typically, children just don't take to me. But they just wouldn't leave me alone. I had anticipated this, so I took out a balloon from my purse that I had bought in case the kids decided to bother me. Unfortunately for me, the store I went to only had the type of balloons that you use to make balloon animals. After I fascinated the boys with blowing up the balloon they insisted that I make it into an animal. I told them I would, but only if they went into the other room to play. Auntie Amy was getting a headache. So I made the balloon into a dog (or at least my interpretation of a dog) and the boys went on their way. So now every time I see my sister and her kids, I have to take balloons with me and make a damn balloon animal.

I'm never having kids.

In college I started dating this guy, Chris Wick, and well, let's just say our relationship wasn't based on talking and spending quiet time together. Truth be told, I couldn't stand Chris half the time we went out. He was obnoxious, like a lot of frat guys can be, but he was just so dense sometimes. How the hell he became a congressman, I'll never know. Oh, he's not stupid, he's just really lacks something in the common sense department. One time we went to some party thrown by a fraternity brother of his, and Chris decides that he thinks it would really cool to get on top of the roof completely naked. Dumbass that he is, he goes up there thinking some of his other frat brothers would be going up with him. He climbs the latter, and after he's up, the other guys removed the latter and left him on top of the roof. I was far to drunk to care, but the next morning when I woke up on the floor of the kitchen, hung over and cranky, I asked where Chris was and I was told to check out the roof. Chris was laying face down on the roof and was sound asleep.

We broke up about a week later.

Chris' roommate was Josh Lyman. Yes, that Josh Lyman. He couldn't stand me in college. Which didn't bother me because most people I knew in college couldn't stand me.

Josh wasn't like the other guys in Chris' fraternity, mostly because Josh had the alcohol tolerance of a ten year old, but also because Josh actually seemed to care about school. I would have labeled him a nerd and never given him another thought, but there was more to Josh than that.

He was the most arrogant man I've ever met.

Seriously, he just oozes arrogance. Our personalities clashed the minute we met. I would stop by the dorm room to see Chris, and Josh would be there, books and notes scattered everywhere, because he has no organization skills. I would go over to his side, take a beer from the fridge and read over his shoulder.

"Do you mind?"

"No."

"Amy, go away. And is that my beer you're drinking?"

"I don't know, is it?"

"You went into my fridge and stole my beer?"

"You want some?"

"Go sit on Chris' side."

"But I'm bored."

"And I'm studying and you're annoying me."

"That sucks for you."

"Amy, I swear to God..."

He never had a chance to finish that thought because Chris would always walk through the door every single time Josh was about to threaten me for stealing his beer.

I figured I'd never end up seeing Josh again after we graduated, but life is funny that way. It really likes to screw with ya.

After I graduated, I started doing work for local woman's groups. I moved up the ranks fairly quickly and ended up in D.C. But Washington wasn't the easiest place to keep a job. I have this problem, you see. It's a problem with authority and generally with people who try and tell me what to do. I don't like it. It tends to get me fired.

I started working with the organization NOW. Things were going well until he showed back up in my life.

I don't know how Josh and I didn't murder each other when we dated.

I know what people said about our relationship. People thought I was with him just to get ahead in the party. People can say whatever the hell they want to say.

Okay, so I am a bit of an opportunist. I can't lie about that. I didn't use Josh, though. At least, it wasn't really my intention to use Josh. He did, after all, get me fired. Our relationship could be hostile, I suppose. When we were together I knew it was a matter of time before he'd break up with me. The day would come when Josh would wake up and realize that he was in love with another woman. That woman being his assistant, Donna.

You think I didn't know that I was involved with a man who was in love with another woman? Of course I knew. I'm not stupid and I certainly have eyes. The first time I saw them together I knew Josh was in love with Donna. Hell, everyone knows that Josh is in love with Donna.

So why did I stay with a man who had no intentions of ever falling in love with me? Simply because I didn't care.

Okay, see, I know that sounds bad. But whatever. It's not like I was ever going to fall in love with Josh. We were together because he couldn't be with Donna and I liked that he could argue with me. It was a turn on. I like smart, arrogant men, and Josh definitely fits the bill.

Josh and I were a political power couple. I liked that. It made me feel powerful.

He hated that I started working for the First Lady. I think he was relieved when I quit. He didn't say anything like that to me, but I could tell. He could have come after me when I was walking out of the building, he could have tried to talk to me, but he didn't. I think the only woman Josh Lyman has ever run after is Donna. At least, in Josh's own subliminal ways he's run after Donna.

I knew Donna couldn't stand me. After all, I was doing the man she was in love with. To her credit, she never showed her disdain for me. I knew it was there, though.

I almost felt bad for Donna. Almost. I know better than to let opportunity pass me by. Donna let opportunity pass her everyday. She thought too much about consequences, that's why she never got with Josh. Because I know for a fact that if Donna went up to Josh while we were dating, and told him that she was in love with him, he would have dropped me so fast that I wouldn't have had time to look for a murder weapon. But Donna didn't want to risk anything. I risk things all the time. That's why I go through so many jobs. That, and people generally just don't like me.

The night the Presidents' daughter was kidnapped, I asked Donna if she was in love with Josh. She didn't say anything. She slammed shut the book she had opened, walked a few steps away, turned around and told me she was going to get a file from Josh's office. We never spoke of it after that. She didn't need to answer me, though. It's not like I didn't already know the answer.

After Josh and I finally broke up for good, I figured he and Donna would finally get together. When Donna was blown up in Gaza, I thought they'd get together. When Josh started working for Matt Santos, I thought they'd get together. Seriously, how fuckin' oblivious can two people be. It's like they stepped into separate wells and couldn't get out.

Whatever. I couldn't care less about what happens with my ex-boyfriend and his former assistant.

I am a constituency of one, after all.

You see, I go after the things I want and I get them. I say what I think and do what I want. If I think someone's going to get in my way, I lose them. If I think someone can help push me up in my world, I make myself known in their world.

I've got a lot going on in my life.

I don't even fucking care that I don't have anyone to share it all with.

Oh, and if you have a problem with the fact that I have dirty feet, you can just shove it.


End file.
